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Sep. 19th, 2008


Let's celebrate!

Avast ye matey!....

Come aboard if ye dare!....

Ya be walkin the plank!...

C'mon, lads, shiver me timbers!

Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

Would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

Prepare to be boarded!

It's International
"Talk Like a Pirate" Day....

Sep. 18th, 2008


Another voice in my head...

Another very addictive song that I can't get out of my head... Toe Jam.

This is BPA (British Port Authority) featuring David Byrne and Dizzee Rascal

BPA is a project put together by Fat Boy Slim.

.....The video is pretty cool too.

Sep. 14th, 2008


A fine full fat fair day...

I've been wanting to go to the Puyallup Fair ever since I moved to Seattle. I wanted to see butter carvings of famous presidents; shake hands with this year's pork queen; pet the goats; eat deep-fried snickers bars, then get extremely ill going on rides.... childhood memories. Like a lot of things, though, it has always taken a back seat...

This year, I was chatting with my LJ bud, Stereobare (Bob), and we tried to get a group together to go... no takers. So Bob and I ventured out on our own and had a GREAT time without them.

Here are some pics that chronicle our adventure... Bob is a GREAT photographer, so he supplied the "camera eye" for the day.


I was so in the mood to see the animals. Lambs are great, but they weren't fooling anyone...

I got to pet the goats!!
I got to pet the goats!!

These two babies were cuddled up nicely together. I wanted to join them.


This guy was posing for us. He had such a handsome mug.
There was some HOT bear watching at the fair, especially at the exhibits.

Here I am stalking my prey...

The absolute best in fair cuisine.... fried corn fritters with honey butter...
This was a poor substitute for the deep-fried snickers bar that I really wanted.

I still stuffed my face with them...

Beside the corn fritters, I also had the "World's Largest" cheeseburger.

We just weren't brave enough to take the front car on the roller coaster.... But we did have a good ride.

Aug. 31st, 2008


ACGCs and Best Buds...


These guys will rip you out of your shell, pour booze down your
throat and force you to dress up as Tigger for halloween...
I know 
this for a fact.... I'm still in therapy after the events of that night.

"Love... exciting and new... come aboard... we're expecting you..."

These guys look innocent, but I suspect they have bodies buried
under the floor boards at their place on Whidbey Island...


Aug. 29th, 2008


Rent a Goat in Seattle...


A couple nights ago, my friend Lonnie and
I went to the Seattle Movie Bears downtown. At the spot where Pine Street crosses I-5, we noticed a crowd gathered around the bridge.

Just below the dog park, there were about 20 goats eating the ivy and grass that grows uncontrolled in the area. It was the coolest thing!...

I had read about the rent-a-goat service in Seattle, but never really saw them. Bringing the goats into the city has it's advantages - they are cheaper than manual labor, they are chemical free and they are cool as all shit!

Now, I want one!...

Aug. 27th, 2008


My soul died a little bit today...

I don't watch that much TV... I'm more of a movie whore... especially when it comes to buying DVDs and renting from Netflixs.

One of my absolute favorite TV shows
Moral Orel is coming out with new episodes in October. I'm incredibly pumped!... But, in the same breath, they announced that the series has just been cancelled... Season Three is all we are gonna get.

Folks... Moral Orel is a cultural icon...
It's a classic combination of vintage
Davey and Goliath claymation and brilliant comment on society... Some of the best writing that I've seen in a long time.


Where else can you find a boy who only tries to do good, but misinterprets goodness and morality and ends up doing the following...


- raises the dead because they are sinners too
- plays "God's Chef" and gets half the women in town pregnant

- becomes addicted to crack as a way to help the homeless

- attends a satanic orgy
with his phy. ed. coach
- wins a praying competition by channeling buddha
- sells his urine as "energy drink" to students at his school

- gets a P.A.  (a Prince Albert, for those who need to know...)

- pimps hookers to all the men in his church congregation
- gets shot by his drunk father, then gets blamed for it.

...Come to think of it, these are all things that I have done!

Aug. 24th, 2008


Alcohol and impulse buys...

Here is my dinner on Friday night after a night of binge drinking... This should give you some idea of the type of weekend I had.

This weekend was
Northern Xposure in Seattle. Lots of muscle bears were out and about, and the attitude was thick in the air...


Aug. 13th, 2008


Opera 101 - What I learned from Aida...

A friend of mine works backstage for the Seattle Opera company and he told me about their great new production of Aida.

Now keep in mind.... I have never, EVER been to an opera. Sure, I've seen them on TV but I've never actually experienced one... Growing up, true "culture" for me was watching MTV... really sad.

I decided to give it a try and I went by myself on a Sunday afternoon.

Have to say, it was great! Aida isn't known for having very memorable music or recognizable arias that you are likely to hum... as if. Most people go see Aida because the story is set in Egypt and the sets and costumes are grandiose. The show didn't disappoint.

Still, since this was my first time attending the opera, I couldn't help but make some strong and blunt observations....

Observation #1 - At the end of every opera, everybody dies or has to live with the pain of someone's death.... What the fuck?...

Observation #2 - The fat lady truly does sing... and there are lots of "portly" women in opera. Why is it that they always play the "young, vivacious" characters, but they look like they just chowed down at Hometown Buffet?

Observation #3 - Opera Bears are hotties!.... just like this handsome little bear from Australia who performed the lead character, Radames.... grrr!

Observation #4 - A lot of people who attend operas are smug... and they enjoy the smell of their own farts... I found this out first hand. Right at the most emotional part of Aida, someone in my section started "baking brownies"... I know everyone smelled it because I could see people shifting uncomfortably in their seats.... I blame the 80 year old guy sitting next to me...

Observation #5 - Thank God for captions!!! Aida is sung in Italian and I can't imagine what it was like long ago to attend the opera and not have a clue what was going on. My spanish is pretty good, so I was able to pick out some words... but not enough to understand it all. Make note.... during an opera, pay attention to the words that display on the board above the stage. They are your lifeline in the world of opera.

Observation #6 - At an opera, it is easy to feel like a "cat at a dog convention"... Even though the Seattle Opera web site said that there is no dress code for opera, people always dress up. I took my motorcycle to the opera, so I was dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, boots and my riding jacket... I got lots of stares.

Observation #7 - Beware of coffee-clatches of little old ladies who attend the opera.... You know that they all meet beforehand at Denny's for breakfast, then head to the opera to terrorize innocent victims like me... During breaks they tear out of the theater and make way for the free coffee. By the time you get there, the table is a mess and their isn't a drop to be found anywhere... and they never leave a donation in the donation bucket... I'll be in therapy for years.

Observation #8 - At an opera, be prepared to applaud multiple times... even when you're not sure what you are applauding for... I still have caluses.

Those are my observations so far....


The only opera that I still like better than Aida is from Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny ....

Aug. 8th, 2008


Ah.... a guy can only dream...

One of my absolute favorites....

I especially like the bear's reaction to the pretty boy....
I have the same reaction everyday.


Aug. 6th, 2008


The Samurai of Death...

So my family and friends got me hooked on Facebook  ....very dangerous. I could spend hours searching for former friends, classmates and colleagues.... then stalk them like prey.

One of the applications I found on Facebook is called Wrestler. Basically, you create an avatar character that challenges other Facebook members to virtual wrestling matches...

My wrestler is "The Samurai of Death"...

Here is his profile -

Abandoned as a child in front of Japan's most famous samurai school, Kukishin Ryu. He was taken in by the school's masters and given the job of "warrior fluffer".

Originally sworn to defend those who cannot defend themselves.... now, he's just pissed off and ready to party.

Favorite move is to rip off your head with his bare hands and shit down your neck.

Height - 6'4"
Weight - 265 lbs (120 kg)
Hometown - Osaka, Japan

So yes, my life is kinda sad right now... 
I'll do anything to entertain myself. 

This includes creating fictional avatar characters that are just begging to be masterbated to.

I've become an internet whore...

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